How to have a positive birth experience +++
Photo by Rebecca Vos
(PS - I may earn a small commission on products linked.)
Hey mama.
So, you’re pregnant. Congrats! What a beautiful journey you’re on.
Perhaps you’ve been here before, had a challenging or traumatic birth experience, and want things to go differently.
Perhaps this is your first time preparing for a birth, and you’re wondering how to have a positive experience (I can hear some of you saying, “wait, birth can be positive, and not just painful and laborious?” The answer is a resounding YES!).
I deeply believe that birth can not only be a POSITIVE experience, but also a healing one.
As a doula (and a mama), there are a few key things I would recommend exploring to set yourself up for an empowered, beautiful birth.
Here’s how can you have a positive birth experience (no matter how birth unfolds)
UNLEARN EVERYTHING.
Seriously, you should unlearn everything you’ve been taught about birth by mainstream media and society.
The image we’ve been given in movies is... just wrong.
Rather than showing birth as the incredible spiritual event and rite-of-passage that it is, women are shown as suffering through labor in excruciating pain, birthing on their backs in bright hospital rooms surrounded by white coats with blue gloves, babies yanked from their mothers at birth for baths and measurements.
We grow up thinking that the waters break at the beginning of labor, and baby will be born shortly afterward (so rush to the hospital!).
While this is the reality for SOME mamas... it’s certainly not true for all (or even most).
The worst thing about the depiction of labor & birth we’ve been fed by the media (and sometimes even our own mothers or female family members) is that birth is to be FEARED.
We’re taught from a young age to distrust our body’s natural ability to birth.
Read that again.
We’re taught from a young age to distrust our body’s natural ability to birth.
So, here is your big fat permission slip to trust that your body was designed to birth, and you don’t need to “learn” anything to know how to give birth.
That being said - education is one of the most important ways to prepare yourself for a positive birth experience.
Once you unlearn everything, EDUCATE YOURSELF.
If you don’t know your options, there are none.
If you know your options, you can make empowered decisions.
By making empowered decisions that you feel good about, you will have a positive birth experience - no matter what.
Will you still mourn the birth experience you dreamed of if you need an unexpected cesarean, or opt for an epidural after wanting an unmedicated birth? Likely for a time, yes.
But if you educated yourself of your options, made informed decisions every step along the way, and made choices that felt right to you (even if they weren’t part of the “plan”)... You will likely reflect back from an empowered place, knowing you (and your baby) did the right thing and made the right choices for your birth.
And that right there, sis, is a beautiful, positive birth experience.
Here are a few very important things to learn.
Educate yourself on...
Using your B.R.A.I.N.
Your care provider & birth location options.
Pain relief options during labor (at home, a birth center, or the hospital).
Common labor intervention & induction procedures.
The cascade of interventions.
How fear can impact labor.
Adrenaline versus Oxytocin during labor.
What you can say “no” to (even if your provider recommends it).*
Postpartum healing and holistic care.
Newborn care & breastfeeding techniques.
*You can always say no. This is your body, your birth, and your baby. Your doula or partner can help you gather all the information you need in order to make an informed decision, especially when choosing an alternative rather than a standard recommendation.
By the way - I plan on writing about all of the above topics, but if there is one that particularly strikes your interest (or something you want to learn about that I missed in this short list), feel free to reach out and DM me on Instagram @mamawildly or email me at sofia@mamawildly.com
I also highly recommend that everyone take childbirth education, newborn care, and breastfeeding classes which will cover a lot of the above information in detail.
These classes are usually offered by your hospital, birth center, or midwife, but you can also find great resources online.
Wisdom from the Womb by Geneva Montano
Books are also great educational sources!
A few of my personal favorite pregnancy, birth & baby-related books are:
Wisdom from the Womb: The Magic of a Baby-Led Birth by Geneva Montano
Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
Rewilding Motherhood by Shannon K Evans
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by Diane Wiessinger, Diana West, and Teresa Pitman
The Hidden feelings of Motherhood by Kathleen Kendall-Tackett
Labor Like a Goddess by Alexandria Moran and Lauren Mahana
Wild Feminine: Finding Power, Spirit & Joy in the Female Body by Tami Lynn Kent
** I’d love to hear from you! Send me an email with your favorite womb or birth journey book.
Now that you have a good handle on your options in labor and birth...
Get ready to do some SELF-REFLECTION.
This is actually a really important (and often overlooked, or unrealized) part of preparing for labor and birth.
Birth is equally a physiological and a psychological event.
Birth is a time of deep vulnerability.
Thousands (even hundreds for some) of years ago, being vulnerable meant there was a chance of death or serious injury.
And even now, when we most likely are not faced with imminent danger in our birthing places, our physical body is still on high alert for threats.
Back then, a “threat” could be a large predator spotted nearby.
Now, a “threat” could be a feeling of emotional unsafety.
You see, our brains can’t tell the difference between a physical threat and a mental/emotional/spiritual one.
It’s important to acknowledge and address your fears and concerns (conscious and unconscious) around labor, birth, having a child, and being a mother.
If you feel safe, your body will relax (and release oxytocin).
If you feel unsafe or have unaddressed/subconscious fears, your body will perceive danger (and release adrenaline).
We’ll touch more on the key hormones in labor later, but for now, know this:
Oxytocin is labor’s best friend. Adrenaline is its enemy.
Let’s take a step back here, mama.
I want you to grab your journal and a pen or pencil, and cozy up somewhere safe and warm.
Brew some tea if that feels nourishing.
Put on a soothing playlist.
Now, take your time to reflect on these questions.
Questions to ask yourself before labor
What makes me feel safe?
How do I feel about birth?
What am I afraid of or unsure about?
How do I feel about being a mother?
How has my relationship with my mother colored my view of birth and motherhood?
What was my mother’s birth experience with me?
What can I do to feel safe during labor?
Allow the pen to flow across the page as you tap into your subconscious mind.
This is the true labor preparation work.
Mama, you’re well on your way to a beautiful, empowered, positive birth experience.
If you feel called to connect deeper with me, you can do so on Instagram @mamawildly or via email at sofia@mamawildly.com or you can listen to my brand-new podcast, WOMB, anywhere podcasts are streaming.
I am so grateful to be a part of this journey with you.
Blessings,
Sofia